My Not-So-Secret Diary

Getting Started

Finally, my computer is on. I’m ready to type, but so much has happened since the last time I opened my laptop. The holiday season has come and gone, and I am starting to get back into a routine. That is, I was. It seems like whenever things get going on the right track, something happens to throw it off. This year, I hit a mental roadblock right after the Holidays. I’ll get to that in a minute, though. First, let’s talk Christmas.

Christmas 2025

I love the Christmas season! The lights, the music, the movies, the colors. Everything feels so magical. When I put up our decorations, I just want to spend most of my time indoors enjoying them. I like putting up the colored lights inside the house rather than outside. This way I can enjoy them all day and not just when I pull up to the house.

This year I spent a lot of the holiday season working my housekeeping job so I could afford to buy Christmas presents for my kids. When not working, I was gift-shopping and wrapping presents, watching movies, doing puzzles, and just hanging out with my family. We did go ice skating this year and we had a great time. It’s fun going ice skating during the Christmas holiday because the rink has a Christmas tree on center ice. It’s decorated and lit up with lights and every now and then, fake snow falls from the ceiling all around the tree. So pretty! We had a lot of fun, and since my son’s birthday is a week before Christmas, he and I got to go skating again!

Every Other Year Christmas Party

This year, we attended the “Every Other Year Christmas Party” hosted by a good friend of mine. It was really fun and everyone had a great time. I surprised everyone by showing up in a red and black, plaid dress and my hair was down and curled. Nobody knew that I was going to wear a dress. I normally wear jeans or work-out pants and t-shirts, so, many people didn’t recognize me. It was great and I actually felt confident. Maybe I should wear dresses more often.

The Christmas tree this year was massive! It extended from the second floor to the third-floor ceiling! Hundreds of ornaments hung from the branches and there were candy canes galore. All different colors and flavors.

Several tables were set up with a different assortment of food on them. I was really fond of the dessert table. Haha! I do have a sweet tooth. There were tables with crackers and cheese, vegetables and fruits, wine and beer, and an entree table with ham, turkey, shrimp, etc. Everything was delicious.

Toward the end of the party, the hostess handed out gifts to every single child there. It was exciting and magical for them to get gifts before Christmas. Everyone had a wonderful time, and we look forward to the next “Every Other Year Christmas Party.”

New Year, Same Routine

So, about the whole “getting back into a routine” thing. The kids went back to school a few weeks ago after being off for two weeks. They did pretty well after the first few days. I, on the other hand, had a hard time. I didn’t go to work for two weeks (which is ok because I unofficially work for a friend only when I’m available).

Mental Roadblock

My brain was in a funk, and I was tired. Mind blank. I couldn’t make myself do anything or go anywhere. It was either depression or another mental health thing. Like there was a roadblock in my brain, preventing me from accomplishing anything. After I dropped the kids off at school in the morning, I went home and sat on the couch for hours, unable to move. Not only was I unable to do the things that needed to be done, like housework. My hobbies were put on hold too.

It created a downward spiral of not being able to do the things that needed to be done, then feeling depressed and overwhelmed because hours had gone by, and nothing had been accomplished. Hopefully, that makes sense. Like, I felt better at the time, just doing nothing. Then, as time went by, I felt guilty for doing nothing. Sometimes, this can lead me to flip into panic-mode in the afternoon or evening. I’ll end up getting a bunch of things done in a short amount of time and end up exhausted. When this mental roadblock happens, it is so frustrating. I know what I want and need to do but just can’t make myself do it.

If you have ever experienced a mental roadblock, I would love to hear about it. When we share our struggles, it helps us free our minds and realize that we are not alone in those struggles. Leave a comment on this post or email me with what you have experienced and what you did to get through it.