My Not-So-Secret Diary

My name is Kristin, and I am a stay-at-home mom of four children ages 17, 13, 9, and 7. I have anxiety and depression, and I am being treated for it with medication. In hindsight, I believe I had anxiety as a child, but it wasn’t something that was usually talked about. I struggled with anxiety for years and then when my son was born, my anxiety and depression increased. At this point, I saw a doctor who prescribed medication and I have been on it ever since. It has made a big difference in my life.

Brain Regulation

Daily medication helps me tremendously, but I also use other things to help regulate my brain and reset. I love gardening and taking care of my yard. Every Spring and Summer I plant a garden. I spend most evenings watering and caring for my plants as they grow. I water everything by hand so it can be time-consuming. It is worth it though, because my brain is nice and relaxed afterward.

Crafting is another passion of mine. I love to create. Usually, I do most of my crafting during the colder months when it is dark early. I crochet all sorts of things like blankets, hats, scarves, etc. My favorite thing to do is to work on my lifelike dollhouse. It is a Second Empire Victorian with three floors and a tower. I am slowly working on it, but it will take years before it is finished.

HNPP (Hereditary Neuropathy with Liability to Pressure Palsy)

Another health issue that I struggle with is HNPP. HNPP stands for Hereditary Neuropathy with Liability to Pressure Palsy. This is a genetic disease that I was born with. I started noticing increased symptoms after the birth of my fourth child. Exercising became more difficult, and my legs felt as if they didn’t work. I remember trying to step up onto a rock and I couldn’t do it. My muscles couldn’t support my weight because they were so weak. Also, I drop things constantly because of the numbness in my hands. My balance is off, and I trip all time. I can’t regulate my body heat. My arms and legs are tingly and often numb. Sometimes, I spend most of the day doing nothing because I have so little energy.

Undiagnosed ADHD/Autism

There is a history of ADHD and Autism in my family. I fit symptoms of both of these but have not been formally diagnosed with either. As an adult, it can be more difficult to receive a diagnosis. I have a referral to see a psychiatrist, though, but I am reluctant to make the appointment. My experience with new doctors is usually negative. They do not take me seriously and I freeze and can’t advocate for myself. It ends up being a really awkward experience.

Sharing My Story

It has been almost a week since I started setting up my blog. I’m starting to get the hang of it. However, I have a lot more to learn. It is hard for me to concentrate on tutorials and similar things. I struggle to sit still and my brain tends to wander. When this happens, I have to restart what I’m doing. Sometimes I find myself staring aimlessly at nothing, but this happens more when I’m really tired.

I decided to share my experience with anxiety, and other health issues, as a way to free my mind. Writing is fun and helping people realize that they are not alone is comforting. It helps me to have people in my life who understand what I’m going through and support me. I hope to be that person for you.